Carpe Diem

The stars are shining brightly as we wind our way through monuments of rocks and canyons in the middle of the high desert in New Mexico. We’ve had barely any service in over 4 hours and have driven past less than 5 cars here in the middle of nowhere. The song Santa Fe by Ottmar Liebert rolls through all of our truck’s speakers – except for the blown out speaker on the drivers side door. Even though we’re in the middle of desolation, this new life feels fast paced. It’s beginning to fill with routines and make sense, but it has taken a lot to get to this point.

The adventures are daily, sometimes hourly, and sometimes even by the minute as we have traveled over 2,500 miles through 5 states in just over three weeks. This past week has been non-stop as ever with disc golf, the UFO Museum and Research center, a stint in Austin Texas, a few (many) days without a shower, a tournament and everything in between. Now, as I’m camping next to the Brazos river in Waco Texas, I finally have time to process and reflect on the past year… a year that led me to taking a big leap and eventually live in my personally concocted dream.

---

As most of you know, 2018 was a year of turmoil, pain and then growth for me. I went through a separation and a divorce which broke me down beyond what I thought possible. My only options were to give up and wilt or to rebuild myself and remold who I wanted to become. The choice was not easy at the time, but thanks to the love and support of incredible friends and family, I chose to succeed. I was able to overcome and find a path to the top of the mountain.

With the mindset of growth, every aspect of my life came into light and I became very aware of how I wanted to proceed and improve. This involved major things from finances to the small items like developing a morning routine. Each step I took to move forward was a thought-out decision to help me grow and progress. By focusing on the small steps, I felt accomplished and gained momentum that helped me through the rest of the day, then week, then month. Eventually I had built enough momentum and confidence that I could look beyond the day-to-day survival, and envision a positive future for myself.  

Inevitably, my gaze landed upon my job, and I saw it differently through this new lens. This was a position that I excelled at and really enjoyed, but when I asked myself if it was what I wanted to do for the next 32 years until I was eligible for retirement, it became difficult to muster the enthusiasm that I expect of myself. After a lot of contemplation, I decided to explore other opportunities and passions.

---

While this realization was refreshing and exciting, it also prompted very scary and real questions, the juggernaut being: Now what?

The only place I wanted to be in the early stages of my transformation was the disc golf course. Disc golf has always been my meditation and brought me joy, but at that point in my life it was my only home. Anytime I had a free moment I was on the course and the only time I went to my house was to sleep.

• 

• 

• 

Disc golf became even more of an obsession than it already had been. But it was never a distraction, it was a meditative, comforting and  productive place. I wanted to keep growing and improving in all aspects of my life, but also pursue a hint of an idea that grew clearer and clearer as both time and my growth progressed.

---

Mom and dad, I’m leaving my job to become a touring professional disc golfer.

Once I made the decision to pursue this passion, all of my previous hard work had a purpose. My workouts, money saving, morning routines all now had a focused goal to build towards. All I had to do was release my former life inch by inch until I could finally fully let go and take the plunge…

---

Since confronting these challenges and asking tough questions, I have been able to live a life I never knew existed. The hardships and difficulties that I faced molded me into the person that I am today because I chose to learn, grow and reach for a wild dream. This transformation was a two-steps forward, one-step back pursuit of believing that I was ready to take a leap. From getting sponsored by an incredible disc golf company, DGA, to writing again for the first time since school (and sharing it publicly), I have climbed the mountain in front of me step by step.

And let me tell you, the view from up here is unbelievable.

Long story short: Take the leap. Risk it for the biscuit. Do epic shit.
Ask out that crush, skinny dip in the lake, run the death putt.

If I didn’t, I would have always asked ‘what if’. And over the past year I have learned that What If’s only build frustration, fear, and anxiety.  

I would have regretted not doing this for the rest of my life if I didn’t try, and if I didn’t go for it 100%. This trip was never a fuck-it, let’s go bowling mentality; it was the culmination of my growth and dedication to improve and love my life.

• 

• 

• 

My toes grab the fresh wet grass. Bird songs fill the dense cold fog rolling through the trees and hovers above the still Brazos river. Water droplets cling on to fresh bright green tree buds as they wait patiently for the sun to fully bloom. Beauty is everywhere, but shit happens. This veil can be blinding and cast many shadows of fear and doubt. However, these moments can allow for immense growth and, sometimes, a chance to pursue and live a dream.